One of the horrifying things I am experiencing as a parent is having Karan trying to form his identity independent of me!
When he says no to something I say. I look at it as a rejection of me. It's probably more an affirmation of himself than a rejection of me, but it's very easy to not understand it most times.
I can cognitively understand what he must be going through, but I get scared as to how far is it going to lead to in the future. It seems as if I would be most comfortable if he can understand exactly what I want and simply function accordingly, without even needing to ask me.
But I know that's never going to happen so my next best option is to consciously or subconsciously condition him in a way that he will be unable to think beyond what I want him to think.
It's very easy to do that- by playing on his insecurities by rejecting him when he doesn't act in a certain way that I would like him to, or by feeding him with unreasonable fear of exaggerated consequences of his actions, or even showering him with approval for satisfying my whims, etc.
By keeping his mind hostage, I can be certain that my utility will never run out as he will always be dependent on me......
